Five and half rules for a happy marriage...

These rules came to me in a dream. They are in no way based upon my real life experiences. 

• Rule #1 - Wives should always remember to say thank you.  Some wives have lived with their spouse for 31 years, and begin to take him for granted.  Remembering to appreciate him for changing a light bulb or carrying a laundry basket up the stairs is the right thing to do.  It also boosts the probability that husbands will, in the future, go to the grocery store at 10:30 pm because there is no more Breyer's Cookie Dough ice cream and some wives have had the crappiest day ever.  

What a happily married  man!

• Rule#2 -  When wives, who probably have a touch of ADD and some spatial  issues, accidentally smash cars into things like garage doors, those big yellow concrete posts at the bank drive up window and even, on occasion, other cars, their fondest hope is that husbands will react with grace and dignity.  And forgiveness.  Plus, some wives would hope husbands realize that a 12 year old Honda mini-van with extensive body work (Surely they'll total it this time, the wife often thinks) is not, in fact, a cherry red Mini Cooper.  With leather seats.  And a manual transmission.

• Rule#3 -Wives should stop losing their debit card.   Husbands really don't think it is cute that some wives are on a first name basis with the customer service reps at the banking center.

• Rule#4 - Husbands should never decide to trim all of the bushes in the yard (and there are thousands of bushes in the yard), put down the trimmer and go inside the house to watch the Golf Channel.  There is a very high likelihood that wives will react to filling 23 yard waste bags during a record-setting heat wave with just a smidgen of hostility.  I have no way to be sure about this, since these are hypothetical scenarios, but I have a hunch...

• Rule#5 - Wives should never interrupt husbands who are on an important conference call with "Honey, what is your biggest pet peeve about me?"  This does not contribute to marital harmony, and he won't answer anyway.

• Rule#5 and 1/2 - Wives should always ask their husbands for permission before blog posts such as this one.  And then publish anyway.