Thursday, April 29, 2010

And I love working with children....

It happens all of the time. As the owner and administrator of a small private school - serving both preschool and elementary aged children - I constantly receive resumes and inquiry letters. Everyone, it seems, loves working with children.

Hardly anyone, however, really knows what working with children is all about. It is not a job for the weak or faint-hearted. Working with children requires a journey to the deepest parts of the self. Only the best teachers know this, but all children recognize a soul on this path.

On the most superficial level, working with children requires a strong stomach. Yes, I can confidently say that all children pick their noses and eat the outcome. Preschool teachers spend a great part of their days in the bathroom, wiping bottoms and cleaning up unsuccessful attempts to make it to the potty. A day without visible poop on the bathroom wall? Well, I did have one nine years ago....

Children are fierce creatures. Childhood is by no means an innocent utopia. Most adults have forgotten this fact, and are left with rosy memories of blissful days. This is a blatant falsehood.

Children's emotions blink like a neon light. They don't hide anything. They can't. They haven't learned how. A three year old coming to school without a good night's sleep is nothing less than a disaster waiting to happen.

Consider this - children's emotions are as deep as the Mariana Trench. The total amount of skills they possess to deal with these emotions would barely fill a shot glass.

Young kids can't fathom why they can't have it - it being any person, place or thing imaginable - and have it NOW. They are the Freudian id personified. Their universe ends at the tip of their noses. "Share and play nice," parents remind their kids each morning. What a lot of parents forget is that sharing is counter to the nature of the average three year old.

Preschool classrooms are the front lines in the struggle to civilize these creatures. Little girl A wants to play with little girl B. Little girl B is happy to be with little girl C, and tells little girl A to get outta here. Now. And, you can't come to my birthday party. Oh, and you're also not my friend.

Young boy X is angry at young boy Y. Instead of banning boy Y from his birthday party, he slugs him in the stomach. And hits him on the head.

Are these unusual happenings in the classroom? If only. Working through this stuff is the meat and potatoes of teaching young children. In the best classrooms, teachers recognize that before we can learn numbers and letters, we have to learn to live life together.

Step one for a great teacher? Recognize this. Know to the very depth of your being that what you bring into the classroom each day makes the difference between utter chaos and peaceful synergy. Expect that kids will act like kids, and figure out in advance how you will show them the way. Lead by example. Show the children how a compassionate and kind person takes care of others, and they will soak it up through their pores.

In short - take care of the little ones, and they will learn to take care of one another.

In my classroom, each child is greeted warmly every single day. Hurt feelings are soothed with hugs and soft words. I want all the children to understand this - I am on your side all of the time. If you mess up, I'm still on your side, and I'll stay on your side while you work this out. That doesn't mean that I don't expect the best of you, because I do, but I understand who you are right now.

Being with young children is a heady thing. Kids love easily. Soaking up their hugs and kisses will inevitably lead one to believe that I am the world's best teacher. Look how much they love me.

But to really be with children requires shifting from feeling their love to knowing that they feel your love. It's about showing love for the child who is, and for the ideal of who the child will become.

Most people who apply for teaching jobs have no clue about this. They see only the superficial - little beings in cute clothes who say funny things. If I can get them to at least understand that the job will include contact with most bodily fluids, that's a step in the right direction.

What do I really want? What is hardest to find? Someone who understands that this job is not about teaching letters and numbers, colors and shapes. This job is about teaching children.

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